Travelling With Friends After University: 4 Lessons From Our First Reunion Trip

In April, I went on a girls’ trip across Southeast Asia with my best friends from university, whom I hadn’t seen in person since graduating two years earlier. Planning our post-university reunion trip took months of coordination.

Coordinating travel amid global conflict was a challenge in itself. Flight disruptions and sanctions meant rerouting journeys, while aligning annual leave across our new big girl corporate jobs felt like solving a complicated puzzle.

Although we had spent two years scattered across the globe, pursuing our own timelines like TV characters on side quests in a filler episode, it felt as though nothing had changed when we reunited. We returned to the same dynamic that we had together in university, and it felt so comforting.

For one precious week, our lives converged again as we travelled together as we had during university.

Lesson 1: See your friends through their home country

After graduating from university in London, my friends and I separated to pursue our own paths in the world. Some of us stayed on and continued working in London, while others took a gap year to volunteer abroad. After some time, quite a few of us returned home to our countries. maintained our connection with each other on social media while trying things out in this new life stage.

As we had so many passions, deciding on a shared holiday destination was not easy – but it was settled once we agreed to narrow down the choices to a select few home countries, which we were originally from. From that, my university friend group and I decided to meet up in Bangkok and Singapore. 

I feel like when a destination is already set, and there’s already a willing tour guide to bring you around, half the challenge of planning is already solved. 

In Bangkok, my Thai friend was our translator, tour guide, and, of course, best friend all rolled into one. I find the dynamic of visitor and visitee invigorating since my days at university were filled with multicultural expositions and friends explaining the habits they got from the places where they grew up. By visiting your friend in their home country, there’s the added advantage of seeing the place that shaped their life, glimpses into their upbringing, and the circumstances which guided them into the people they are now. 

Travelling from Thailand to Singapore, my Singaporean friend hosted our group and brought us around too. We got to see the best city spots, and logistical planning was easier with a local best friend and guide bringing us around.

Lesson 2: Accept that some things will go wrong

Things not going according to plan are just another part of travel. In our case, even before the trip began, we encountered international flight sanctions, which caused two of my friends flying through the Middle East to have their flights cancelled.

The rest of us arrived in Bangkok and were thrilled to meet up again in person. However, when travelling across Thailand, we encountered the phenomenon of overpromised hotels where they were not as nice as their online listings made them seem.

On an island called Koh Larn off the coast of Pattaya City, the homestay we booked turned out to look nicer in the booking.com pictures than it did in real life. After asking the staff to address the essentials—putting up mosquito nets, unclogging the washroom—we decided to make do with our situation and focus our attention on the brighter parts of the trip: the sunny island we were on, which teemed with pristine beaches, marine life, and great local food.

Changing plans meant going out the door earlier to witness spectacular sunrises from the mountain peak viewpoint, and morning snorkel trips to see the coral reefs and tropical fish. Going back to the homestay later at night meant wandering around the surrounding village, which led us to stumble upon delicious Mu Kratha food spots. 

The goal of a friendship trip isn’t always to create postcard-perfect Instagram moments. Sometimes, it’s a chance to savour navigating the world together and experience the full range of personalities which cemented the friendships to begin with. Having things go wrong during travel mirrors the challenges of navigating your university days. By all means, definitely do ample research, but accept that things sometimes just go wrong. After addressing what genuinely needs fixing, I suggest just making do with the rest. 

Lesson 3: Build an itinerary everyone can enjoy

Oftentimes, university friend groups come with a mishmash of personalities and a whole variety of differing interests. The key to having a large friend group travel well is to deliberately get everyone involved in hashing out the planning process. Besides gearing up momentum for the trip, planning ensures everyone’s travel wants and needs are heard. By communicating constantly and centring inclusivity and open-mindedness when planning activities, I believe this will lead to a strong foundation for a successful and fun trip.

Throughout the planning months, my friends and I kept thinking: Would the trip be laidback or jam-packed? Adventurous exploration or calm relaxation? Would we go to an island or a big city? How many days would we stay at each location? Then, there was the issue of budget: would we go all out or set aside some funds for another future bestie trip?  

In the end, we decided on a mix of cosmopolitan and tropical island, with our Thailand days filled with culture and island hopping, while being in Singapore meant going on city walks, playing board games and shopping. 

In Bangkok, my Thai friend really wanted us to do a professional photoshoot at Wat Arun with traditional Thai clothing rental. While some of my friends weren’t the keenest to start with, we agreed to go together for team spirit, and it ended up becoming one of the most memorable experiences of our trip. Towards the end of our trip in Singapore, we spent a lot of time singing karaoke and playing board games indoors – scrapping our initial plan of intensive city exploring, as we preferred to relax and just have long conversations with each other. As everyone has different thresholds for activeness while on a trip, it’s important to factor in regular check-ins to ensure everyone’s wellbeing, and to make tweaks to the itinerary if needed.

Lesson 4: Promise you’ll meet again—and mean it

Emotions are running high at the end of the trip. We don’t know when we are going to see our friends again. Will it be in 2 years, in someone else’s city? And what would be the occasion?

In times like this, I do appreciate promises to plan another trip, or agreeing to see each other again whenever the chance arises, in order to soothe the burn of missing your friends and having to get back to commitments.

Even after university, when we are all forging our own storylines in the world, the world we live in right now is so connected. Physical distance is now just a flight booking away, and before long, I can probably meet up with my university best friends again.

All photos are by and courtesy of the writer, Cassandra Khoo.